A Beautiful Gift
In the early days of July 2015, I put an end to a relationship. It was a devastating heartbreak and quite difficult one to handle. It wasn’t love, it was lust. But, at the time it felt as if it was because I was blinded to what was really genuine and real. After that I went downhill, I started drinking and doing drugs to fade out the pain. I got involved with an older man that was 41 years old. I wasn’t attracted to him physically, I just wanted attention and I was looking for it in all the wrong places and people. A couple weeks of being with him I had sexual intercourse with him. After a month of being with him, I felt uncomfortable and sick. I decided to end it with him. A couple weeks after that in the month of September I had a strong feeling that I should take a pregnancy test and also I hadn’t got my period so that was another scare to add on to it. I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. I went to the store and bought 4 more, they were all positive. My stomach dropped and tears began to flow. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. So I just sat in my room for a while and drowned in my tears. There was so many questions. Who am I going to tell? Am I going to keep the baby? What choices do I have? How will I tell people that I slept with a 41 year old? My brain was flooded with so many things. But, the main thing I was thinking about was what was best for the baby?
My mother was the first person I told and she was so supportive about it. I told her everything. She told me my sister went through an adoption agency with my nephew and niece and she told me to call her to get the number if I wanted to look into it.
That next week I contemplated what I was going to do. I had three choices. Adoption, abortion, or raise the baby myself. This is the hardest decision someone could possibly make. I had to weigh the benefits and I had to be realistic. I had no money, I was living with my mom at the time, hadn’t finished high school, no car, I had nothing in regards to what is needed to raise a child. September 15 I called the adoption agency late that night and left a message.
A lady named Angela called back right away, and was very comforting as she spoke to me. She asked me about my pregnancy, and why I was thinking of adoption and I told her. In a week after that I was scheduled with an adoption specialist named Amanda and we met soon after that.
And so, my journey began. Those 9 months were hard but easy at the same time, Amanda supported me in such a manner that it lessened many of my stresses.
When I was given the profiles of the families that were interested in my baby, I had no doubt that Laura and Mark were the ones. It was as like God was waving their profile in my face. I’m so lucky to of found them. They were more than supportive and loving throughout the whole thing and still are to this day. I know in my heart they are going to be great parents to our baby boy, they already showed me that they are. The ending of the adoption process (the legal part) was the hardest. But, again I had a lot of support which made it a little easier. I do not regret my decision, and I am very happy with who I chose to love and cherish William James.
Standing here today I think about my baby boy all the time but it comforts me to know he is happy and with a good family. I did not let this stop me from furthering myself in life. I finished high school, I’m in my second semester of college. I have my own apartment now and I am saving money to get a car.
I was blessed with this adoption agency.
I give my thanks to all who were involved and a special thanks to Amanda and my wonderful parents I chose!
J, a birth mom