An Adoptive Family Waits – A Personal Story
Hurry Up & Wait. I’ll take it.
We arrived in Florida on a Monday afternoon thinking, hoping, and wishing that our wait to meet a sweet baby girl wouldn’t be much longer. Folks, two days isn’t a long time. In fact, it goes by pretty fast in most circumstances. However, we needed to wait.
Waiting. It seems to happen all the time, however we continually find ways to avoid the wait. Drive-thru, free two-day shipping, call in to carry out, the list could go on and on. If many of us are honest, the wait is often filled with multi-tasking as well. If I’m going to have to sit and wait, I might as well catch up on emails on my phone. We have become pretty good at avoiding waiting.
For a “planner” I would like to think that waiting isn’t so bad as long as that wait is scheduled into the plan and there is adequate time to adjust things as necessary depending on the outcome of the wait. Which, if I’m honest is a pipedream and really just a way to justify planning and wanting to know now what’s going to happen.
In the overall scheme of things, our adoption wait was pretty minimal. April to August is a short time frame, but within that time was loss, heartache, confusion, excitement, and lots of waiting.
Waiting on fingerprints…..waiting on reference letters….waiting on situations…waiting on being chosen….waiting on a baby’s arrival….waiting on grant approvals…..waiting on placement….waiting on ICPC Waiting on finalization…waiting on letters from the birth family (Side note: best waiting of it all. I might have jumped up and down in excitement more than once when receiving a letter. Childish? Nope. Pure Excitement with the relationship that is building.) Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Often we would laugh and say let’s hurry up and wait, because if I am honest, all of my preparations to help speed the process along really were series of “hurry up, and waits”.
Two days waiting before we meet our baby? That’s a long time. From sitting by the pool to finding random stores just to walk through, we did things to try to pass the time. On Wednesday we heard that a baby girl was born. Once again, hurry up and wait. Friday morning we heard that we would likely get to meet her that day. Hurry up and wait. Friday afternoon we arrived at the hospital and were met in the lobby by Joanne, Amanda, and Carol Ann thinking we would soon set our eyes on sweet baby girl.
In reality, we wouldn’t be able to go up to meet sweet baby girl for a few hours. Hurry up and wait. This could go on and on and on. Each step of the way, hurry up and wait.
While admittedly annoying at times (okay, all the time) each of these hurry up and waits was just what we needed. We had a loss, but that allowed us more time to prepare. We waited in Florida, but that allowed us time together without work and the busyness of life. We had to wait at the hospital, but that allowed us to spend time with Joanne, Amanda, and Carol Ann. We waited for ICPC, but that allowed us the time without the distractions of everyday life at home.
If you’re in the wait, it’s hard. Really hard some most days. No doubt about that. Patience couldn’t be a virtue if it was so simple, right? However, each step of waiting is precious and gives time. Admittedly, we did not embrace it as much as we should have.
My encouragement to you, in the wait, would be to find things that make you thankful for the wait. Our journey was a series of “hurry up and waits,” but there is NO part of it that I would change. I wouldn’t change the waiting in the loss…waiting in Florida…..waiting at the hospital. None of it.
Hurry up and wait. I’ll take it.
Caroline, an adoptive mom